me trying to accomplish life goals

virginclub:

virginclub:

virginclub:

THIS ONE TIME I PISSED MYSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GROCERY STORE AND STARTED CRYING

THAT HAPPENED TO ME TOO I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE

WAIT THIS WAS MY POST

condorn:

haha yeah im billingual uno dos one two three taco puta lmao

trillow:

i knew a guy that watched porn once and he DIED eighty years later

meladoodle:

meladoodle:

someone once called me a shameless self promoter.. me?? melanie meladoodle??? meladoodle.tumblr.com? 

reblogging so everyone can see how shocked i am! me… melanie meladoodle. 

porkrub:

It’s a love story baby just say rawr XD

niggaimdeadass:

it was the summer of 7th grade going to 8th 

a nigga was stressed and depressed 

walking home like 

“how the fuck did i manage to do this to myself”

on the brink of tears everyday scared to tell my mom

luckily they had this program 

“read away your fees” or some shit like that 

every half an hour you sat in the library and read it took 2 dollars off 

my niggas. 

my mother aint see me for about a month and a half. 

fuckyouajax:

Palms are sweaty

Knees weak, arms are heavy

Vomit on my sweater already

when u Mom com home and make hte spagheti

lameborghini:

beyoncyay:

lameborghini:

does anyone else subconsciously give letters and numbers a gender like 4 is such a feminine number while 9 is definitely masculine am i right and then m is a girl of course while j is a boy you get me

you might have ordinal linguistic personification

mmm sounds like a fancy linguini pasta

lamdiel:

now that we’re alone

//seductively brushes cracker crumbs off bed//

australiansanta:

quirkybrittany:

australiansanta:

u know when someone really annoying is talking and you can almost hear the XDDDDD in their voice

what’s wrong with “xD”?

not now quirkybrittany

dersia:

*passionately sings the wrong line to a song*

leslizzrables:

My local agility class has a dog that is definitely also a toaster.